This is the first post I have written in a state of utter euphoria (previous posts have been written in other states that shall remain nameless). Why such joy? Well, I'll TELL you (drumroll). I just found out that I was accepted to the graduate Speech pathology program at the University of Washington, and I will be returning to school full time this fall!!! (insert sound of floor creaking as I jump up and down in a jiggly fashion). The glee I feel over this news is heightened by years of searching, self-doubt, and a remarkable ability to ignore my own desires and skills.
I first thought about becoming a speech pathologist 10 years ago, after spending all of my teenage/college years in a practice room with the desperate dream of becoming a professional opera singer. At that time I was mourning the loss of my opera dreams and looking for a way to use my extensive (yet seemingly pointless) expertise about the human voice for some greater good. Reeling from the loss of the opera star fantasies that formed my young adult identity, the speech pathology career path functioned as my "back-up" plan. In the world of career romance, it was the boring stable guy that I chose not to date because I was too busy chasing flaky musicians who wrote me beautiful songs but didn't stick around for the hard stuff. Not that I'm speaking from actual romantic experience (cough cough).
Since that time I've done a lot of career dating. I had a beautiful but short-lived love affair with music psychology research...which, I soon realized, was the same old musician dude disguised in the tweed and glasses of academia. Because when it comes down to it, academia can be a daunting stage where rotten tomatoes fly at you in the form of rejected grant proposals. Instead of critiquing each note you sing, the audience picks apart your methods, your area of interest, and your befuddled theories. Like a music career, the tomatoes and catty critiques are 100% worth it if it's truly your passion. But if it's not your passion, well, let's just say it's a lot to sacrifice for something you don't love.
Thankfully the stable career nerd stood by, prompting me to pursue a 2nd bachelors degree in speech and hearing science and a number of eye-opening teaching/clinical experiences. And my actual stable guy (i.e. my husband) stood by while I agonized over which career path to follow and how to fit it in with our family plans. I have said it before and I will say it again: Rob is a very very patient man.
And thus this past year, I finally got my career-promiscuity out of my system and decided to pursue my SLP dreams once and for all. I'm sure motherhood helped me get here. A few years ago I worked with a career counselor and could not answer the basic question: what do you like to do? Now I know. I like to help people, interact with people, use my brain, and use my extensive knowledge about communication for something besides my own performer ego.
I am approaching this new career relationship with a hard-earned appreciation of what really matters, and what will really make me (and thus my family- crucial connection I am finally getting) "HAPPY" on a day to day, 40+ hour per week basis.
I know this path won't be easy. There will be long nights of studying after Elliot goes to sleep, MORE student loan debt (if that's even legal), and what I'm sure will be a very challenging transition from being home with my sweet baby to dropping my big confident boy off at daycare. But like any healthy relationship, I know that if I put the work into it, it will provide far more satisfaction than any short-lived affair. So to the Speech Pathology admissions committee I would like to say a big fat "I DO!".
