LATCH ONTO THIS Giselle (and other semi-cynical thoughts about modern day breastfeeding guilt).

Recently the supermodel mom Giselle was quoted as stating that mothers should be legally required to breastfeed their babies until at least 6 months of age.
Before I had Elliot, I must admit that I agreed on some level. A lithe, mildly anorexic Giselle sat on my shoulder during my first months of motherhood, encouraging me to keep breastfeeding through cracked nipples, mastitis, and thrush. I loved breastfeeding my baby, and there is nothing sweeter than looking down at a tiny human as he suckles contentedly on sustenance that you created for him.

But when Elliot stopped wanting to breastfeed at 4 months due to the pain caused by his reflux, there was no amount of Giselle-guilt that could get him to latch onto my nipples again. And there was a LOT of guilt, trust me. Part of this was my own grief that my breastfeeding relationship with Elliot seemed to be over. And part of it was the fact that every source I turned to for information poured salt on the wound. I remember taking Elliot to a lactation consultant shortly after he stopped wanting to breastfeed. We discovered that he hadn't been gaining weight, and determined that he would need to supplement with formula. As she handed me the carton of formula, she said "just so you know, studies are now showing that formula can actually CAUSE some diseases". As I searched parenting books and websites for information about how to help Elliot with his reflux, it seemed that every page I looked at said in bold "formula makes reflux worse! If you want your baby to recover, you must breastfeed".

Every time I came across these messages I added extra pumping sessions to my day and pounded fenugreek, all in an effort to increase my milk supply. Until finally Rob and I decided that it was more important for me to be present for my son than to continue agonizing over my dwindling milk rations. Elliot gradually transitioned to formula as my supply faded (despite my continued pumping efforts) and once he got on the right medicine, his reflux did get better.

I truly do believe that breast IS best. And I think any mom who has ever picked up a book or talked to a doctor believes this as well. So this leaves me to wonder who the current high-pressure breastfeeding campaign is geared towards. Because none of the moms I know need any more pressure or guilt. So to all of you doctors, authors, mompetitors, and super models who judge moms who have tried their best to make breastfeeding work but don't succeed, I say "LATCH ONTO THIS, JERKS" (insert lewd image that may or may not involve me holding my breast in a very threatening fashion).

I write this post in the hopes of offering another perspective to guilt-ridden moms (and because I'm stuck in bed with a flu). Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing. But if your child never figures out how to latch, your breastmilk supply never comes in, or you have to supplement with formula for other reasons, please know that you are still an amazing mother and that you are not alone. Your child will still thrive, and will still bond with you. At some point, when you look into your child's eyes during a bottle feeding, you will be amazed to find him or her starting up at you with complete adoration and love. And there is nothing more pure than that.